During the times he was on the payroll and actually showing up for work, Garcia began experimenting with the computer and art programs and discovered a flair for doing separations of T-Shirt art. It was during one of his extended stays that Garcia discovered a new and highly technical means of preparing the Big Johnson artwork for T-Shirt production by “pressing a whole mess of them computer buttons and seeing what came out”. Encouraged by his own hard work and determination, Garcia quit to become a short order cook for an all-girl motorcycle gang. The last we saw him (just after the completion of this interview), he was being driven off into the sunset chained to the sidecar of the gang’s leader “Big, Bad Bertha”. But he promised to continue doing separations for the company “just so long as I can get out of these chains and over to my laptop.”
JOHNSON: Hey there, Mike. How’s it going?
GARCIA: That all depends on your definition of “IT” doesn’t it! Are you trying to trick me or something? Is that it?!? What kind of evil game doest thou think ye shalt play, knave?!
JOHNSON: Uh....
GARCIA: Hang on just a second....the rhino tranquilizer I took is beginning to kick in. Wait....almost.... Ah, there we go. Now what was your question again?
JOHNSON: How are you?
GARCIA: Just peachy. Is that the end of the interview?
JOHNSON: No...no. I’ve got a lot more questions. For instance, what’s it been like to be the most hired, fired and re-hired person in Big JohnsonCo history.
GARCIA: Not bad really. Those times that I spend away from the job help to invigorate me. Get me mentally psyched to come in and produce. I think everyone should try my method of working some and then getting away. They’d be a lot happier.
JOHNSON: Most people do. Only they call it “taking the weekend off”.
GARCIA: And are they happy to be off?
JOHNSON: Yeah, I guess.
GARCIA: See!!
JOHNSON: Anyway, it’s been said by some people that you’ve been very instrumental in the continuing evolution of the overall look Big Johnson shirts.
GARCIA: That’s just the sort of thing that some people would say.
JOHNSON: Well, it’s true that you’ve allowed the designer (Al “the Art Guy” Via) to be more creative with colors and detail.
GARCIA: See, now you’re saying it too. Why don’t you ask me what special project I’ve been working on this week!
JOHNSON: Ok...what special project have you been working on this week?
GARCIA: I won’t tell you. Ah Ha Ha Ha Ha! Boy, you walked right into that one didn’t you. God I kill myself sometimes!
JOHNSON: I wish!
GARCIA: Eh? What was that?
JOHNSON: Nothing.... nothing. So, what kind of things do you do in the art room that keep the old creative levels up?
GARCIA: Well, let’s see. I bring in lots of comics, graphic novels, fantasy design publications and art magazines. Real cutting edge stuff! Then we just wrestle over them.
JOHNSON: You bring in these things and then you discuss and debate their merits and weaknesses?
GARCIA: No! We really wrestle over them! I lay them out on the floor and challenge everyone to a wrestling match right there. And if I get no takers, I’ll throw a few flying drop kicks and that’s usually enough to get things started.
JOHNSON: I see. Well then, let me try this one: is there any one thing that you bring to the art department that you would say has “pushed the envelope” of production?
GARCIA: I’d have to say my personal belief that there is always a better way to do things. I think we should never be weighed down by some set of standardized methods. There are as many different ways of approaching design problems as there are people working on the solution. It’s all about keeping both your mind and eyes open.
JOHNSON: Wow! I’m really impressed with that answer
GARCIA: What? That I could have such strong convictions on the subject?
JOHNSON: No. That you could give me a straight answer to a question.
GARCIA: Well, not completely. While you were looking the other way, I stole your wallet!
JOHNSON: Why you dirty little...
The interview is interrupted for a few minutes while Garcia plays “Keep-Away” with my billfold and taunts me with baby noises and bird whistles. He soon tires and gives me back the wallet and the interview resumes.
JOHNSON: Thanks a lot! Now let’s talk a little bit about how you do it...
GARCIA: Whoa there partner! You never said anything about this being one of “those” kind of articles!!
JOHNSON: What? Oh, no! Not that! I’m talking about the technical aspect of your job.
GARCIA: Alright. ‘Cuz Mike Garcia don’t play the potty mouth game, ‘ya understand. Although for five bucks, I’ll drop ‘trou and do my world famous President Nixon imitation. Whatcha’ think?
JOHNSON: Please don’t. I just ate. No, tell us about some of the programs and techniques used to bring such quality to the newest generation of Big Johnson shirts.
GARCIA: Well, I mainly work on a Mac platform using Adobe’s Photoshop 6 and Freehand 10. I get the art from Al and using a series of personally pre-set and personally modified steps, I’m able to draw out colors for print that will perform both by themselves and in conjunction with others.
Uh, speaking of performing... you sure you don’t want to see my little display? If you don’t have the 5 bucks, you can just owe me...
JOHNSON: What?! No!
GARCIA: OK, what say we forget the money. I’ll give you a free show... how about that?
JOHNSON: Hey! Pull your pants up!
GARCIA: “Let me make this perfectly clear... I am not a crook...”
JOHNSON: That’s it! I’ve had enough of you! You’re MAD! A stark raving lunatic and I’m getting out of here. Hey, the door won’t open! Alright who locked the door! C’mon open up!
GARCIA: (snicker)
JOHNSON: This isn’t funny! Let me out of here!!
GARCIA: Are you looking for this?
JOHNSON: The keys?! Give em to me right this minute. I want those...
GARCIA: Gulp! Hmm, not bad at all. Could have used a little catsup... or maybe ketchup.
JOHNSON: Help! HELP!!!
GARCIA: Submitted for your approval: a man enters a conversation and finds he’s just talked his way into the “Twilight Zone”... Do de do do, do de do do, do de do do, do de do do, do de do do, do de do do, do de do do....
JOHNSON: AAAAARRRRGG